Apparently russian army uses Spongebob Squarepants theme as march song
Girls, if you complain that we stare (not me) at your butts, be thankful we don't slap!(A girl slapped my butt at the supermarket today...)
FUN FACT:There are exactly 99 cars with "FAG" on licence plate in my area.One of them was the one behind I got stuck today.And it was a truck...
Exactly one year ago, I saw a locomotive:it was dirty, and rusty, but the second time I saw that locomotive, it was clean, and repainted.Since that day, I keep seeing the same locomotive at least once per week.I think it's stalking me (I always wanted somebody to love me, but not a locomotive...)
Today I saw a girl singing this song to something that looked like her boyfriend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nXGPZaTKik then he replied "Yes I really wanna hurt you!Yes I really wanna make you cry!" then slapped the fuck out of her...
...and that's how I wasted fuel, half of pizza, 1 dollar and a parking lot at a restaurant...
>Watch "barbie girl in G major"
>neighbor comes in, heavily slamming the door against the wall, and holding a brick with googly eyes
>he asks "what the hell is going on?"
>I reply "summoning demons"
>neighbor says "oh ok!Have fun!"
>neighbor leaves through the window, and all the smashed glass falls inside
If I'll ever go on a date, I'll go in another town, just in case my "girlfriend" would break up with me.A trip on foot back to the hometown is the best punishment for breaking my hearth!
I'm going to tell you a REAL story, since it actually happened to me.
There was once a girl called Cristina.She moved in my town, and didn't knew many people, but she met me.After a while, I'd realized that she is just like me.A sad, friendless person, whose parents didn't care much about him/her, so I did my best to help her.I even took her on a trip, when she asked to, even if the day before I had an accident.I paid all of her souvenirs, and later introduced to my new friends Delia and Iuli (boy), and since that day, we went on lots of trips together.Until, something changed:cristina suddenly started treading me like a shit, blocked me, and didn't even wanted to hear my name, while Delia and Iuli were busy preparing for some exams, since they were 2 years older than me and cristina.Now, Delia and Iuli are together (in a relationship), Cristina found a boyfriend, and me.Well, it seems that now I am the same sad, friendless person whose parents didn't care about him.
Today I saw a train letting cars to pass at a crossing, then I looked inside the locomotive for the crew:The driver was grumpy, the trainee was mentally retarded, and the other guy... was a hispanic (in south-east europe?)
In case you have any questions, ask me!
I told my female friend that this is the sexiest thing in our town https://scontent-b-cdg.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t1.0-9/10419615_771951052856801_7054359826562109637_n.jpg and she slapped me.Now she don't want to talk to me anymore.Girls...