well it’s not your fucking parents because they don’t knock
it is now december, soon finals will begin
i love how at the beginning of the year i was all like "i gots this"
then later on i'm like "oh shit i don't gots this"
so today i heard some kid ask his dad "who created humans?"
the dad replied:"god did"
then the kid asked: "who created god?"
then out of nowhere, a total strangers walked by and said "humans did"
boy: Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
The struggles of a man
thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina
The Seven Shittiest Sins
Greed: I want shit
Envy: I want your shit
Wrath: I'm going to wreck your shit
Lust: I'm into some freaky shit
Gluttony: This is some tasty shit
Sloth: I don't feel like doing shit
Pride: I am the shit
i hate teachers who give homework over break like do you not understand what a break is do you want me to demonstrate on your neck
it’s ironic how middle school boys will make fun of the gay kid but then draw dicks on literally everything
waffles are pancakes with abs.
speaking of stars...
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY PAIN TWIN
DIRECTOR: do you mean your stunt double
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY AGONY SHADOW WHO SUFFERS FOR ME
send your selfies to NASA
because you're a star